Friday, April 28, 2006
Relationships, Commodities, and Meaning
Sumser has been writing on relationships and referrals this week. This morning he references a piece from Jeff Hunter paraphrasing: “The existence of relationships is replacing the meaning of relationships.”
This is a great insight. And it certainly seems true. Especially where business reasons are driving relationships - like referral networks.
So, why do I want to cringe?
First, because relationships are important. As recruiters, developing relationships is our stock in trade. And, on a fundamental level, we are social beings. Our biological and social needs for relationships precede our business needs. It is the business needs that commoditize relationships. As social beings we seek emotional support in relationships; and turning them into commodities feels unnatural. To put it another way, we lose intimacy. And replacing intimate relationships with casual ones leaves us unfulfilled.
Second, because trust (a subset of intimacy) is important. This is what breaks down within 3 degrees of separation. This limits the commoditization of relationships. Relationships are not transferrable. There is some limit to how much commoditization can occur. This is also a limitation of automated referral tools.
Last, as recruiters, we establish relationships for a living. It is this skill more than any other that we bring to the table and build upon. So when the importance of quantity outstrips quality in our relationships, we feel like we're prostituting our emotional skills for the company. And that’s not worth it.
This is a great insight. And it certainly seems true. Especially where business reasons are driving relationships - like referral networks.
So, why do I want to cringe?
First, because relationships are important. As recruiters, developing relationships is our stock in trade. And, on a fundamental level, we are social beings. Our biological and social needs for relationships precede our business needs. It is the business needs that commoditize relationships. As social beings we seek emotional support in relationships; and turning them into commodities feels unnatural. To put it another way, we lose intimacy. And replacing intimate relationships with casual ones leaves us unfulfilled.
Second, because trust (a subset of intimacy) is important. This is what breaks down within 3 degrees of separation. This limits the commoditization of relationships. Relationships are not transferrable. There is some limit to how much commoditization can occur. This is also a limitation of automated referral tools.
Last, as recruiters, we establish relationships for a living. It is this skill more than any other that we bring to the table and build upon. So when the importance of quantity outstrips quality in our relationships, we feel like we're prostituting our emotional skills for the company. And that’s not worth it.
Comments:
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I don't that the importance of relationships can be overstated :-) In every sphere and in every aspect of work (and life!) they play a major role in the moment and our outcomes!
# posted by 
: 4:34 AM
: 4:34 AM
I agree. Relationships are what make our lives significant - regardless of the job of the moment, company, or most accomplishments.
When surveyed, people asked what they'd do if they had just a week to live focus mainly on relationships. Their importance outweighs anything else we do. Given that, it's interesting they're not at the center of more work activities.
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When surveyed, people asked what they'd do if they had just a week to live focus mainly on relationships. Their importance outweighs anything else we do. Given that, it's interesting they're not at the center of more work activities.
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